I came across these series of parenting question I would very much like to answer (according to my "ideal" thought). I am not an expert in parenting, or child development whatsoever, so I add as well another response from another real woman, real parent.. The respondents profile are as follows :
N : A 63-year old career woman (working mom), raised up all her children (now all of them are working & have family) herself, 2/2 is working with the Government of Malaysia, 2/2 is working in private sector (1 hospital, 1 F&B)
S : Myself, a 32-year old career woman with only 1 child, self-proclaimed champion in effort but we'll see.. Since she lost her firstborn once, she always keep in mind that everything else (other than infant loss) is a small potatoes..
This response was completed at different time, so we won't be copying another party's response!
N : No comment, tak berkaitan..
S : Maybe don't start that habit, first of all.. (we came straight to the root of cause, alright..)
N : Tak tahu, tak buat..
(maybe different time zones? It never happened before..)
S : Same! Don't start that habit..
N : You cannot control, cuz afterall in this PKPB time, they need some routine, and leisure (watching TV) is one of them..
S : Play other things! TBH, my son never depends on TV (he play all his toys, watch me cooking, baking, working), we could go on for weeks without switching on TV, so yeah, I don't know how to control screen time, but I use this to my advantage when cutting hair, my son would lock his eyes straight to the TV without moving/caring, so yeah HAHAHA
N : Don't focus on the problem, try to do different thing (your favourite thing!) to shift away minds from the problem
S : Shift your mind towards something else! You only live once, why filled it with stress?
N : Child = nagging ; Spouse = reasoning
S : Admit that nobody is perfect, and so are you, or myself. I keep this locked in my mind : "it's all about perspective". I believe what A sees about B could be way different than what B feels about the case/situation..
While this question revolves around parenting, I believe I would never be angry with my child because he is Godsend, I could neverrrrr scold. I could be mad in my mind, but snapped everytime, thinking he's all I have (right now), I ended up always hugged him.. For spouse, you may try this : treat your spouse like your best friend, but better. You may not want to hurt your best friend, right? Then why treat spouse badly? Why stressed over small things?
N : Let it be, because everybody has a part in life. Not everyone want to be on top, some might settle for being average.
S : I don't care. If you care, you care. I don't..
(If I care, I might want to compete being the most beautiful, the most successful and the list goes on.. but no, I am loving where I am now)
N : scold both parties/scold them all, cuz it takes two to tango
S : Teach them something out of this : taking turn, how to ask for something they want (cara minta izin), how to apologize (cara minta maaf)..
N : I've to take the role..
S : You must double the effort! Imagined a single parent, would they USE THIS EXCUSE?
Note : Apa tak ada kerja sangat asyik cari salah orang/pasangan sahaja.. depending on the occasion, if the male/husband is a breadwinner, you'd tone down and be considerate.. Tak berdosa pun
(above is my initial response posted on 16/12/2020 on my Instagram)
Would you answer these questions differently?
Until next post!