The new Taytay's song Look What You Made Me Do came out exactly like what I wanted. It described my current feelings - I was hurt earlier in my pregnancy

I never knew I could be this hurt -when people forgetting Elana's birth and death, the lost I couldnt described, even if I have to remind you readers -I am still in angry stage

Losing Elana made me lose most of my heart, half my sanity up to the extent I told my mom sometimes I forgot to breathe. Breathe : the thing we do unconciously - I knew just part of my brain is dead somewhere

When people is forgetting to include Elana in their prayer -I was so hurt I just knew I had to retaliate

This is me -retaliate

I wish I was the old me. Still loved dearly by my husband (my boyfriend back then), strong, indestructible and loud

I changed. But apparently the change costs me my heart. I failed. I failed to be better. I just wanted the old me

Life was way easier back then. I was No. 1 in school every year (such a bright one I know), I skipped Darjah 3 (you may say Im genius too -back then), I was awarded scholars and offers.. and the list goes on, well, I was effortlessly lucky. Well, I need that luck back

From the moment I was hurt I knew I should care less and dont have to please everyone around me. Afterall, they hurt me first

I cut loose people I knew care less about me, Elana or my well-being generally, and that is a start. I can continue being me and happy, as well as heartless

I was hurt in the beginning but now I am happy. If I may say, the humanity is killing me and I turned it off -and continue my pregnancy until today. If I care more I might've lose this baby (who knows)

So yeah, I loveee the latest Taytay's hit I replay it when I want to

"Sorry, the old me cant come to the phone right now. Why? Oh. 'Cause she's dead"

P.s. especially the Chorus part

Enjoy this new hit:

Credit : TaylorSwiftVEVO