Just a day after we celebrated my mom's birthday, my (step) dad collapsed and being taken to the National Cancer Institute (NCI). His health is already deteriorating at that time. I remember being the one who noticed his white eyes turned yellow, pretty sure his liver is no longer in good condition.

He has been battling with cancer since 2015

On January 10th, 2019, he passed away at the age of 54, in the NCI

Weeks before, one morning (5am), he called upon my Husband and I, seeking forgiveness and all (advice, wishes), I remember going back to KL (from my hometown) crying. I have such a weak heart, emotional as always

2 weeks after -I still cannot find words to describe how I feel

I NO LONGER HAVE A FATHER FIGURE

Lost my dad, and then my step dad. Lost so many people, my own daughter, went through one (1) miscarriage. Sad is never the correct term now

I hate being where I am now, hoping everything will turn out better hereafter..



THEY SAY, "YOU NEVER MISS THE WELL RUNS DRY"

My dad always mentioned -his only wish is to be free from the pain. God knows just how he felt at that time. Just like pregnancy (has additional uneasiness/sores/back/hip pain), the pain lingers, but this one is forever

Health is one's greatest possession. Although this whole cancer thing, is mysterious. Thankfully, none from my bloodline has cancer (yet), not even my 90 year old grandmother. But in the future, we'll never know

WHAT I NEED FROM EVERYONE

Still, I did not know what I want, I feel numb

Anyway, it is still very nice if I can have your time for prayers and wishes, may those I have lost find peace and will be granted Heaven

AL-FATIHAH

..to those we love so dearly (especially my late daughter, my first born Elana)



MAY WE MEET AGAIN